For You

i've never really understood people who claim to be in love with an idol. i never really understood how you'd be able to give up anything to see someone across the screen happy. when people said a single person was able to light up their lives and rid them of sadness i didn't ever think i'd feel like that in relation to anyone. i guess i could say i never really felt truly at home with anyone across my screen. even though i had people who i found comfort in, no one made me feel truly protected and grounded and blissfully happy. i didn't really have that one idol that served as a reminder that i was loved and appreciated and i was worth it. but then i "met" you. and you were different, park chanyeol. you were so uniquely and beautifully, you.

you who was able to make my heart melt with every 100 watt smile. you who made me laugh with your clumsy and adorable ways. you whose giggles and happiness made me happy as well. you whose voice with its deep timber was able to lull me when i felt the most overwhelmed and helpless. you with the eyes that sparkled with one million different galaxies and showed me such a beautiful soul. you who, even not knowing me, was able to say exactly what i needed to hear when i needed it the most. i found my gaze always travelling to wherever you were on my screen, my mind never wandering too far away from you. you with big ears and a heart the same huge size.

i don't think it was sudden as i didn't find myself instantly in love with you. at first it was only your cute looks and funny comments that made my heart flutter but as time went by i started learning more about who you were as a person and it was then where i found myself falling into a spiral of you. i found out about how selfless and good hearted you were. how you were able to hide your pain to see others happy and thriving. how you were so humble when it came to your talents and abilities. how you made music not because you were forced to, but genuinely because it's your passion and it's your way of communicating. how you are always so willing to talk with us international fans, going as far as learning whole new languages. how loyal you were to your members as well as exo-ls. how you were not a fabricated idol but a true and genuine one.

when i write this its been almost 400 days since i first let you into my life and into my heart. there isn't a single day that goes by that i regret that decision or think about removing you from either. you make me the happiest park chanyeol. somehow you've woven yourself into my heart and soul. everyday i discover something else i love about you and just when i think i have you all figured out and i can finally settle, you surprise me and i fall a bit more. not a day goes by where my love for you doesn't flourish. i guess i just wanted to say thank you with this letter. thank you for making me smile and becoming the beacon of light in my life. you're the best thing that happened to me and i'll never stop thanking you

Love sofia ♡